My Friend is Already Married Twice, with a fruit and the sun

jadi sore hari ini tadi saya ketemu lagi dengan si R, the ladykiller.

kami terlibat pembicaraan singkat dan penuh guyonan satir.

Me: "sup dude, what are you doing here?"

R: "sup man, oh I',m waiting for my ex-girlfriend"

Me: "still on the mission with different girl huh?"

R: "of course! hahahaha, btw you're having a girlfriend yet?"

Me: "nope, I'm single"

R: "come on man, you should have one"

Me: "why shouldn't I?"

and yeah, kalo dipikir saya udah setahun lebih nggak terlibat dalam hubungan yang serius, dunno why, I just don't want to fool around with some random girls. Ok not random girls, maybe here and there, but nothing serious.

Di lain cerita, tadi siang saya berbincang dengan teman saya cewek Nepal, sebut saja si S.

Saya baru tahu kalau dia sudah menikah 2 kali. Yes, 2 kali.

suami pertamanya adalah buah, suami keduanya adalah matahari.

bingung?

ternyata di Nepal ada tradisi yang menyatakan bahwa wanita harus menikah 3 kali.

Pertama, dia harus menikah dengan buah. Buah itu harus dibawa kemana2 sebagai lucky charm, tapi temen saya ini udah kehilangan suami pertamanya, nggelinding ga tau kemana. Dia sih nggak sedih, tapi ibu sama neneknya sedih banget, mereka percaya kalau buah tersebut ilang maka kamu akan mendapat setahun nasib buruk. Well, dia bilang sih nyatanya ga ada apa2 tuh. Oh iya, salah satu ritual yang harus dilakukan saat dia menikah dengan buah adalah dia harus memakai baju sari dan manjat pohon.

Kedua, dia harus menikah dengan matahari. Ritual yang harus dia lakukan adalah selama 14 hari dia harus diam di dalam kamar yg gelap, samasekali nggak boleh lihat matahari, ga boleh mengkonsumsi gula, dan ga boleh ketemu pria lain. Di hari yang ke 15 dia baru boleh keluar kamar, melihat matahari, dan mencumbunya seperti kekasih.

Ketiga, menikah dengan manusia. Buat menikah yang ketiga ini dia belom sih, cuma dia bilang 1 hal yang bikin saya ngakak, "both of my first and second husband are not a good kisser"

I Am My Own Antimatter

• ANTIMATTER (noun)
The noun ANTIMATTER has 1 sense:

1. matter consisting of elementary particles that are the antiparticles of those making up normal matter

Familiarity information: ANTIMATTER used as a noun is very rare

so here's the fact,

as I grow up I realized that I already become someone who I doesn't want to be when I was still a kid

I used to hate people who involved in business things. I think they are capitalist that make the rich grow richer and the poor grow poorer, I used to think that people who works behind the desk is super boring, I hate when life's happiness is measured by the amount of money that people have. I see many people with lots of money grow evil, they are such a douchebag, their attitude make me hate their lifestyle. I've been bullied, make enemies, and confront those who think money are everything. The one that think money can buy everything, they are people who I hate the most,

And what do I study now? yes, I study business.

I used to hate people who wear and collect uncommon sneakers. Come on, sneakers are made to walk and all sneakers have a same caste. When you stepped on a shit, then no matter how expensive your sneaker is, it is still a sneaker that stepped on a shit.

And what is the thing I interested to do now? yes, I collect sneakers.

I used to hate smokers. Seeing people near me smoking is make me angry for some reasons that I don't know. I just know that smoking is bad. I grow up with people around me smoking, most of my uncle are smokers, I even make a deal with my father when I was a kid, every time he smokes cigarettes, I got 500 rupiah (it's back in 90's something, 500 rupiah is kinda a lot for a kid). My father stop smoking now, my mom hate smokers, I do hate them, used to.

And what do I do now? I smoke. I won't give any sensible reasoning for this, I respect everyone has a free choice, most of all I still know smoking is bad and I will, later, stop smoking, it is a must.

I used to hate someone. He used a typical accent when he say this particular word, "okaaaay".

and shit, I don't know why sometimes I used that same accent as him when I say "okaaay". I hate myself of saying that, and yes, I still hate that man. No pun inserted.

those are just a few cases that I experienced, I still have many things on my list but hell, I will save it for myself.

the point is, I know I become someone that my past self will hate of, but life goes on, people come and go, life is not just a set of plain motion that you plan and will succeed.

My first job that I dream is to become an astronaut, but as time goes by, I realized I'm bad at math, physics, and all of things that I must master to become an astronaut. I also dream to be a chef, I have a big passion in food, I love to eat good food, and serving a good food to people that I love make me happy, but here's the fact again, yes I love to cook, but I cook only for myself to eat, some people say my cook is good, other say it is just a pile of manure, I like it but it's just not fit to the things that I can be dependable on in the future.

And here's the reality, now I study business, dunno, maybe I'm good at it and I start to love it since 4 years ago. Even though I'm living a life that my past self will hate, my background tell me how can you make yourself better than all of those people you hate in the past. I want to be the only one my past self will proud of in a million of other people who take the same choice as me and still doing things that my past self hate. That is satisfaction, reality slaps me but I slap it back.

We will not forever live in a past dream, having a target is good, it will keep you trying until you get what you want, it is like a burning fuel to fulfill your ambition. But please know that target is made as a motivation, not as a boomerang that will destroy your own self. You know yourself, what is good and what is bad, make the privilege of free will to make yourself stronger.

I do have many ambitions and desires, I want to make my parents proud, I want to make world a better place to live, I want to see the smile of the one that I love everyday, and many other things. But there is one more thing that I set as a target and I hope I can fulfill it before I die: "I want to see what earth looks like from the moon"

Diperkosa Jaman

"Carpe diem" adalah salah satu contoh idiom yang diperkosa jaman.

Sadarkah kamu bahwa masyarakat kita tempo ini lebih menyukai sesuatu yang singkat, yang gampang, instan dan mudah dicerna?

"Carpe diem" yang artinya "Seize the day" diperkosa dari hakikat asalnya, direnggut maknanya sesuai nafsu masyarakat. Ga banyak yang tahu bahwa kalimat komplit dari "Carpe diem" adalah "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero" yang apabila diterjemahkan ke bahasa inggris adalah "Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future".

Menurut saya, inti penting dari kalimat "carpe diem" adalah kalimat yang ada di belakangnya. Sayang naluri hewani masyarakat ga suka dengan makna "trusting as little as possible in the future". Kalimat itu terlalu terkesan hedonis, pesimistis, terlalu panjang, dan ga keren untuk dijadikan sebuah idiom. Seperti yang saya bilang sebelumnya, sesuatu yang terlalu rumit, nggak mudah untuk dicerna, atau bertentangan dengan norma yang ada akan diperkosa secara brutal oleh jaman.

Pembunuhan huruf vokal juga adalah tanda pemerkosaan jaman. Dengan era digital, SMS, Twitter, dan social media informal yang memiliki keterbatasan karakter dalam penyajian lainnya, banyak orang suka menyingkat kata dengan membunuh huruf vokal.

contoh kata:

"dengan" disingkat jadi "dgn". Padahal "dgn" bisa juga dibaca "degan": es kelapa muda, bisa juga dibaca "dogon": salah satu suku pedalaman Mali.

penafsiran kata tersebut probabilitasnya infinity, namun entah kenapa mayoritas masyarakat kita sudah biasa dan mengerti akan maksud dari kata yg disingkat tsb.

Ya, barusan saya nulis "tsb" di kalimat diatas, tapi kalian semua ngerti kan kalau apa yang mau saya tulis adalah "tersebut"?

korban pemerkosaan jaman yang lain adalah bagaimana cara kita mengucapkan terima kasih apabila sesuatu yg harusnya kita terima itu belom terjadi.

kebanyakan dari kita selalu bilang, "thanks before"

enak, gampang, semua pernah bilang, dan kesannya oke kan?

padahal kalimat yang benar adalah, "thanks in advance"

suka atau tidak, sadar ataupun tidak, kita sebagai bagian dari masyarakat perlahan mengikuti proses pemerkosaan jaman, orgy massal secara terselubung, kita diam, namun ikut menikmatinya.

Between Alcohol and Cigarettes You'll Find Your Zen

jika kamu disuruh memilih untuk bertanya kepada 2 jenis orang, mana yang akan kamu pilih?

1) Orang yang lagi menikmati bergelas-gelas bir, dan perbincangan terjadi ditengah kepulan asap rokok.

2) Orang yang sedang minum jus, dan pembicaraan terjadi di bangku taman di siang hari yang cerah.

saya memilih pilihan pertama.

yes we all know alcohol and cigarettes are bad. Oh you don't know about it? good, you're exactly the right person I will look if I really need to ask an honest answer.

disaat alkohol dan nikotin berselancar di dalam darahmu, maka kamu akan kembali menjadi sesosok primal being, yang artinya kamu ga punya indikasi untuk berpikir jauh, cenderung sembrono, namun kamu akan jujur akan apa yang sedang kamu rasakan, good or bad you're just being honest.

Bandingkan dengan orang yang sedang dalam kondisi prima, dia akan menjadi lebih tajam, lebih akurat, namun punya indikasi untuk menutupi kejujuran, apa yang dia katakan punya probabilitas untuk apa yang menghasilkan output terbaik bagi dirinya.

true story.

sedikit melenceng dari pembicaraan, kamu tau kenapa Hitler begitu berpengaruh dan punya karisma yang besar? salah satu teknik andalannya adalah: dia selalu pidato di sore hari. Kenapa sore hari? karena sore hari disaat kondisi fisik sedang turun, orang akan lebih mudah untuk dimanipulasi, ditanamkan doktrin, dan keterbatasan fisik akan membuat proses refusal tertunda atau dimatikan samasekali. He is a brilliant man, too bad he choose a wrong way, or at least what other people think "it" is a wrong way.

cerita diatas menunjukkan bahwa dibalik kelemahan seseorang terdapat sebuah kejujuran. Orang cenderung pasif, namun dia tidak akan berpikir repot untuk berpura-pura menjadi apa yang bukan dirinya. Come on, we are all just human, we all have our own darkside inside us, the more you oppress it, like a timebomb it will explode in one or other way, the problem is how can you make this timebomb explode without give any harm to yourself and other people, especially the one that you love.

and do you know why I write this whole thing? currently (3.40 AM here), I'm shotting myself a Jaggerbomb. It is bad kids, don't do it. But in other way, it give me a sudden passion to write and share this kind of blabbering random thing. I'm just being honest, currently I am, I got so many things running in my head. Probabilities of what-if theory that maybe not real, many alternatives of expectation, how if I failed it, or will I find happiness if that scenario works. And in the end I realized that I just want to be my own self, if you can't be honest to even yourself, how can you even honest to other people.

find you own zen, your meditative state, and when you can finally let it flow, accept it, love it, it is who you really are

Melogikakan Ekspektasi

ex·pec·ta·tion (kspk-tshn)

n.

1.

a. The act of expecting.

b. Eager anticipation

if there are many things I learned about life, one of the most important thing is how you should not giving anyone any expectation.

expectation fails me, not only once or twice, a lot.

When you have a high expectation, once it fails you, it will slap you real hurt. In other hand, if you have no expectation of something and things turned out to be good, you will feel a great happiness out of nowhere. Even a simple good thing can make you in the state of "smiling like a stupid person" because you have no expectation of it.

care of other people as you should care for them. You don't need to ask them to return a favor of things that you already did to them, the good one. I'm not talking about debt system, it's not an obligation that they need to return, if they meant it they will show it to you. If don't, you don't need to feel bad about it because you make no expectation of it.

I used to say this to a friend, "you're hurt because of your own expectation of someone, rather than make them to fulfill your expectation it is better to change your own expectation, lower it, or just don't make any of it"

alas, I'm a prisoner of my own device.

learn from me, learn from your friends, I want you people that read this to be happy.

ditulis sambil mendengarkan Morrissey - Irish Blood, English Heart

"Irish blood, English heart, this I'm made of

There is no-one on earth I'm afraid of
And no regime can buy or sell me"